Defense is Offensive

People learn to cope with life; from childhood we learn how to gain friends, avoid bullies, deal with enemies etc... One thing we learn early on is that interacting with other people can be a very troubling endeavor. Some of us have grown up in broken homes with abusive parents, some grow up poor, some survive hostile cultures, but we all learn how to handle things. Many learn to fight back, if you really want to make it you are going to have to stand up for yourself. Others learn that if you gain a skill that others admire that respect will keep you afloat. Our society teaches you the simple truth that if you look nice things will go better for you. One coping mechanism that we all learn to some degree is “defend” yourself. It is rare that one has to physically defend themselves but to mentally defend yourself is another matter entirely. We have to defend our decisions, our opinions, our spending for our hobbies, and the like. When we get into disagreements we always revert to defending our position because if we don't the pain of being wrong is too much to bear. In that we find the motive, basically we defend ourselves because the pain of being out of line, or inferior, or broken, or in need, is just too much for our pride to take. So we defend. Defending ourselves seems reasonable, but to do so we have to erect walls against others. To truly not get hurt we have to aim our weapons at others and keep a close eye on them. To stay protected we have to keep our shields up and our swords of offense ready at hand lest they take us by surprise. What we fail to realize is that no one on planet earth wishes to be seen as a threat. By us keeping up our guards around others, by keeping our bow and arrow drawn and ready, aimed at their heart, and then trying to talk to them, well that is offensive. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (), if I walk onto someone's property accidentally and they draw a shotgun on me, I expect that. But if after they have found out that we are family, that we are both humans, that we shop at the same grocery store, and they keep that defensive gun aimed at me, that hinders conversation. Do we not realize that guarding ourselves against others is really no different.